August 27, 2007

The Ultra-Glamorous Life of a Writer

A Day in the Life . . .

1. I wake unconscionably early to take our oldest son to the school bus. He manages six grumpy words to me: "Can you pick me up today?"

2. I return home to find our adorable cat, who has deplorable aim, has piddled outside her litter box . . . again. While cleaning up, the strong ammonia odor nearly kills me.

3. Then a horrid discovery in the washing machine -- youngest son's juggling ball. The ridiculously expensive one he worked all summer to buy. "It's ruined!" he screams. I ignore his implication that this is my fault (even though he actually blames his brother) because with children, everything from pimples to poor grades to nuclear proliferation is my fault.

4. After laying the wet juggling ball in the sun to dry, we manage to get out the door so I can drive said youngest son to school. After he leaves the car, he turns to me and says six grumpy words: "I left my lunch at home." For some reason, I know this, too, is my fault.

5. Back home, after walking the dog, feeding both pets, making phone calls, cleaning cat vomit off the carpet and resisting the strong urge to take a nap or slam back a mojita or BOTH (but not in that order), I eat son's forgotten lunch -- surprisingly good -- ignore the large pile of dirty laundry and even larger pile of unpaid bills beside me and begin writing.

I wonder if J. K. Rowling begins her day this way.


Anonymous said...

Has anyone told you lately? You're awesome!


Wild About Words said...


You're twice as awesome; you have twice as many kids!

Happy writing trials, er, trails,

Anonymous said...

Hi, Donna!

Thanks for sharing the link to this hysterical entry.

You and I are twins separated at birth, I think.

1. We both love long, funny book titles.
2. Our cats have lousy aim.
3. I washed my glasses in the laundry.
4. I love a good brown bag sandwich.

Your new fan and twin,
Mary Hershey

Wild About Words said...


Thanks so much for the laugh this morning. I needed it! And for YOUR hilarious blog:


Anonymous said...

Donna, enjoy this "ultra-unglamorous life of a writer," these years of calamity and clamor. Like life's arrow, they twang too soon from the bow.

Dan R.

Anonymous said...

Nothing like teenage kids to make you question if really is your fault. Maybe it something that we did or did not do in the child rearing process when they were being potty trained that screwed everything up. All I know is that since my daughter has been driving (1 month) she has managed to scrape the side of my truck, break off a mirror, ruin the clutch, bang up a bumper, mess up the hinges on the hood and break the shifter. Miraculously none of these things were her fault!!!!!! Sorry but you have few more years of "its your fault". The good news is you can start to laugh at them and they will start to laugh with you about it the fact that "IT IS YOUR FAULT".

Anonymous said...

I had one of those days recently... mine involved a flooded laundry room, a possum, an invisible handy man and car salesmen. Listening to you, I now think I got off easy! Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Great work.