A Funny Thing About Mental Illness . . .

The other day, someone pissed me off!

I promised I wouldn't let her comments bother me.  I knew they were from outdated thinking and a lack of knowledge.

BUT STILL, THEY BOTHERED ME!

Our older son has bipolar disorder.  The years until we found help and hope were hellishly dark. That's why I'm so vocal about sharing our experience and the resources we've found.  That's why our son is so open about his illness and talks to everyone from fellow sufferers to mental health providers at seminars.

What did that woman say?  That it was probably my fault that our son was the way he is because I was too strict.  (I'm not even going to go into why that's ludicrous.)

Years ago, parents were blamed for their children's mental illnesses, especially mothers.  This is especially cruel as mothers often bear the brunt of finding help and hope for their children.  Now, we know mental illness is a brain illness.  And guilt over that is unnecessary and unhelpful.

People used to think (and some still do) that mentally ill people are just lazy.  If they'd only try harder . . .   Beep!  Wrong answer!  Mental illness is a brain illness like diabetes is a body illness.  Would you tell a kid with diabetes that if she'd just try a little harder her body would produce more insulin?

We're still working to dispel the shame, stigma and perceived weakness that often goes along with seeking treatment for mental illness.  Would you be ashamed to get dialysis if your kidneys weren't functioning properly?

This piece from the Washington Post, "My son is schizophrenic.  The 'reforms" that I worked for have worsened his life" is a must-read:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/my-son-is-schizophrenic-the-reforms-that-i-worked-for-have-worsened-his-life/2012/10/15/87b74a98-eadd-11e1-b811-09036bcb182b_story.html.  It's a great look at what sounds good on paper, but what actually works in real life.  The piece ends with excellent, concrete suggestions to make significant improvements.

These resources have been helpful to us:

1.  N.A.M.I.  (National Alliance on Mental Illness)--  The free "Family-to-Family" course from our local NAMI chapter educated us so much that it completely changed the way we think about our son's illness.  It was a lifesaver.  (N.A.M.I. has many free programs, support groups, resources, etc.)

2.  M.H.A.  (Mental Health America) -- Again, the local affiliate offered us many services and referrals.

3.  The non-fiction book:  Welcome to the Jungle:  Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Bipolar But Were Too Freaked Out to Ask by Hilary Smith, which is written in a fun, hip style and offers excellent advice and tools for living as well as possible with the illness.

So, what's the funny thing about mental illness?  Watch Ruby Wax, comedian, talk about it on this amazing TED Talk and tell me if you don't laugh (and learn).  (My favorite part is when she plucks off a piece of a Play-doh brain and tosses it over her shoulder.)

Learning a Thing or Two About Our Education System . . .

Our children taught me what was wrong with the education system.

Through grade five, they were sponges, curious and excited to learn about everything that came their way.  After school, we hit the playground or flopped our legs over the couch and read library books and comic books or . . . cooked or built or whatever struck our fancies.

As the years went by, our boys became less engaged in the traditional teaching model.  By this point, they knew what they loved to do -- theater, sports, cooking, music, etc. -- and were getting precious little of it during school hours.  Homework was done shoddily or ignored.  They just couldn't see the point.

And I couldn't promise them that if they did well in school and got into a good college, they'd get a great job and be set for life.  They could see that wasn't necessarily true anymore.  They sensed they needed something more -- a different approach to education to prepare for our changing world.

Everything in it was changing, and so fast.   Except our model for public education.

Then I discovered a video by Sir Ken Robinson, PhD -- an internationally recognized leader in the development of education, creativity and innovation. 

While watching, I wanted to shout, "Yes!  That's exactly how I feel.  Indeed, standardized testing for dollars is one of the worst things to happen to education!  Of course, collaboration produces amazing results."

If you have a minute (or eleven), watch Sir Ken Robinson share his ideas in this entertaining video:

And if you appreciate what Sir Ken Robinson has to say as much as I do, check out his Ted talk here (about 20 minutes) . . . 

My favorite of his points is that we need to help children discover what they love, what they're passionate about and let them grow from there.  It was true for me, as I knew I wanted to be a writer by the time I was ten.  Everything else fed into that.  Finding one's passion and a love for literacy are the two things  I try to impart to children during every school visit.

What do you think?