August 6, 2012

Excellent Writing Workshop (and one extremely rude lady)

I knew I was in for a treat when I signed up Dorian Cirrone's writing workshop at Murder on the Beach bookstore in South Florida.

This guy kept an eye on Dorian while she presented

Bookish skeleton at Murder on the Beach Bookstore in Delray, FL

In two hours, Dorian shared information, handouts, juicy industry tidbits and a few jokes.   She even gave each participant one of her novels.

I loved this book!
She suggested we watch videos, like this one from the Plot Whisperer:


She gave us a handout of great beginnings, like this one from the hilarious Absolutely, Positively Not by Sid Fleischman Award winner, David LaRochelle:  "Everybody has at least one ugly secret, and mine is as ugly as they come.  I square dance.  With my mother."



She suggested books, like this one and Web sites, like this one that has a great character worksheet.

Dorian's workshop was informative and inspiring.  It hit all the right notes.

Dorian Cirrone and Donna

Everything about it was perfect, except . . .

A woman sat front row center, but she didn't face Dorian.  She faced the rest of the audience.  I soon discovered why.  Every time Dorian made a point, this woman loudly offered her opinion/experience/thought/etc. to the rest of us.

I wanted to scream, "I paid to hear Dorian, not you, lady!"  I wanted to tell Dorian, "Tell everyone to hold questions until the end."  Although it seemed nothing would quiet this rude woman.  When she began organizing a crinkly pile of store receipts from her pocketbook and answered a cell phone call, I wanted to hit her with a book.

I didn't.

I did what every good writer would.  I took mental notes because I will include her in an upcoming novel.  I will give her unsightly acne and a grapefruit-sized wart on her nose.  Then I will make her suffer a literary death of which Stephen King would be proud.

Yeah.  Being a writer is awesome.

15 comments:

Fred K. said...

Your existence is a gift to the world. XXOO

Wild About Words said...

Fred, WOW! And thank you.

Shannon Hitchcock said...

Oh, I love how you're going to repay the rude lady. Sort of reminds me of Anne Lamott's BIRD BY BIRD, except she wanted to give a man an extremely small appendage!

Wild About Words said...

Ha! Shannon, that's hilarious. Yet another reason I love Anne Lamott!

Augusta Scattergood said...

Great! Love all the links and tips. Strongly dislike Rude Lady.

Becca Puglisi said...

ROFL! No worries about Rude Lady. Let's let Skeleton Guy take care of her.

Wild About Words said...

Augusta, strongly like YOU! Hope we can connect at the FL SCBWI Conference in Miami this year.

Wild About Words said...

Awesome idea, Becca!

David LaRochelle said...

I'm tickled that Dorian used an example from my book as a great beginning! I was going to say I wish I could have been there to hear her class, but I think I would have burst an artery with all the fuming I'd be doing if I had to watch that inconsiderate attendee.

Wild About Words said...

Oh, David, I wish you were there to hear Dorian sing your praises. And I have to agree with every word of it. (Btw, we totally could have taken that lady.)

Laura said...

I agree. Dorian was terrific. Rude lady was 50 shades of annoying.

Clay Cormany said...

Your planned response to the rude woman reminds me of a sweatshirt I saw with these words on it: "Be careful or you'll end up in my novel."

Wild About Words said...

Laura, you are 50 shades of hilarious.
Clay, I actually have that T-shirt!

Gaby T. said...

Dorian is awesome!!! Rude lady, not so much...

Wild About Words said...

Agreed, Gaby!